reflections

Today I am 23 years old.
During my 23rd year, I graduated University with a bachelors degree, I was married in June, I picked up a new hobby that led me to a decision that will determine what I want to do with the rest of my life, started my own small business, and Robert and I moved into our first house.
This is the first year that I keep forgetting that today is my birthday. Does that happen more often as one gets older?
I hope not. My birthday has always been such a big deal to me.

I brought home lots of cupcakes and cake dots (cake mixed with icing, rolled into a ball and dipped in chocolate) from my new job. I'm working at Sugar Custom Cakes and I love to bring home all of the "expired" goodies! We're also expecting a blizzard tonight which should be loads of fun, as long as we don't lose power. I'm looking forward to a potential 12 inches of snow in the morning. Have I ever told you all how much I adore the snow. In my opinion, it should only be cold if there is snow on the ground.

I'm very excited to be snowed in with my hubby and maybe a few friends and lots of cupcakes.

Ashley

Le Sigh

Never take a seasonal job during the holidays.
Period.

Lonely

Every so often, I get really sad. It's the kind of sad where I know I mustn't even speak or else I'll cry for hours.

My life with Robert is wonderful; I couldn't ask for a better, more kind and loving husband. Sometimes, though, I get so lonely because I feel like there's really no one else in my life. Although I get stressed and I always feel a little too stretched, I feel so happy when I'm home, when I can see all of my friends and family whenever I like. I miss the warmth of having so many people that love me all around. I miss the support of those people when I feel like I felt a few days ago. I know I can't move home, I would never be happy living there. Other than my family and friends, there's nothing there for me, and picking up everyone I love and dragging them around with me wherever I go just isn't an option, although wouldn't it be wonderful?

It could be that I don't have a job, and that sitting on my couch all day with no one to talk to and nothing to accomplish is just bringing me down. I feel like I have no priorities, no order, and no direction. I have no idea where my life is headed right now and I have conflicting ideas of where I want that to be. I have no motivation and no drive.

It doesn't help that we also don't have enough money to do anything save for buying groceries and paying our bills. The lack of job mentioned above is the reason being for that. I want to be able to buy my family and friends Christmas presents, but it's seeming less and less like that will be able to happen.

This entry isn't to whine or to try to gain sympathy from anyone; I only needed to write, to vent about how I feel.
I know that this feeling is only temporary and that in time I'll get back on my feet again and my crying will cease.

UPDATE:
I forgot to post some recent pictures. Here's Halloween.

Lack of..

Robert and I had a pretty hectic month this month. We got denieda house, then had a mouse infestation in the second one and then lost 1400 dollars. Fortunately, we finally found a house that we love and now that we're all settled in and it has received a fresh coat of paint, it's really starting to feel like home. The kitties are even happy about the new move.

Next on the list is finding a new job which is a necessity since we lost some money this month. I've applied at lots of places but haven't really heard anything back so I've been trying to just do something small while I wait on something better. Job hunting is hard.

Well, here are a few pictures of the new house.

...before painting...

..after painting...

...dining area...

...living room after we've painted...

Now that it's over..

On June 12, 2010 I had a beautiful, fairytale wedding.

Everyone always talks about how amazing your wedding day will be and how you'll always remember it; however, no one ever tells you how completely nervous you will get. For two days I couldn't eat and my stomach would wake me up in the morning so I was not getting my fair share of sleep either.

Once I walked down the isle everything was fine. My then fiancé, now husband however, was a nervous wreck the entire wedding.

It was beautiful though.

If I could go back and do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing.

If you all would like to look at pictures then feel free to check out Sarah's website.

Master Cleanse: Days 2 & 3

So far I'm feeling pretty normal. No greater or worse than usual. It's hard to help boyfriend make Chicken fettuccine alfredo when you haven't eaten in three days though.

I won't talk about the salt water flushes because it's disgusting. But those are happening as well.

I made a slushy today to mix things up a little bit. I also tried the smooth move tea last night and found it disgusting, even with lemon and maple syrup, so I think I might just stick to the SWF in the mornings.

7 days to go. :)

The Master Cleanse: Day 1

For those of you who don't know what the Master Cleanse is you can google it and find a million different websites explaining it. It's basically a 10 day fast where you don't eat anything except for lemonade made with cayenne pepper and Grade B maple syrup.

Problem # 1: I've run out of maple syrup in one day.

They say you should have 6-12 glasses of the stuff on the first day and I'm already up to 16 so maybe I should drink less tomorrow and use less maple syrup.

Problem # 2: I am addicted to food.

I haven't felt that hungry all day, I mean I would get a growly tummy occasionally but it would stop with a glass of lemonade. However, the more I see food the more I want it! I'm craving a huge pizza and a milkshake! Anything greasy will do!

So far it's going great though!

I'll update again tomorrow!